For some, finally having independence from their parents means being able to do things they enjoy but were prevented from doing while living at home. This can include little things like staying out late and eating whatever they want. It can also include bigger things, like living in a space they can call their own, making financial decisions, and even starting to raise a family. However, there are many young adults who want independence for far different reasons that may be more serious. Some even change their names. The time frame to change your name in California doesn’t have to be that long, and many are eager to embark on that journey as soon as possible. Here are some of the most common reasons why someone might want a complete separation from their parents.
To Have a Financial Separation
For most kids, being completely supported by parents is great. It means always having the money to do the fun things they want to do, and never having to say no because they can’t afford it. However, in many situations, money is used by parents as a way to control their kids and make them do whatever they consider best. This control might be to keep them in a certain extracurricular, for instance, or it might be more of an emotional control situation. This can be very damaging for a child or teenager, and can lead to mental health issues down the road. Many young adults, when they are given the chance, choose to completely separate from their parents, especially financially, to remove themselves from these types of situations. They don’t necessarily cut off contact, but they remove the ties that have tethered them to their parents so they can feel more free.
They Experienced Abuse and Trauma
Not everyone has an idyllic upbringing. Abuse, both physical and mental, is all too common in homes of any kind. Once a child reaches adulthood, they can start to make positive changes in order to free themselves from abusive situations. Many of those kids decide to leave their parents and never look back. In fact, they often completely cut off communication with their abusers. Not all victims are able to do this, but abuse and bad treatment are big reasons why young adults decide to cut their parents out of their lives.
They Do Not Want to be Associated with Certain Actions
All prisons are full of inmates who are mothers and fathers. This means that there are millions of children around the country who are growing up with a parent who is incarcerated. As they get older, they might find that they get teased by their peers or that adults recognize their infamous name. Often, the sons and daughters of inmates choose to change their names since being associated with felons can lead to difficulties getting certain jobs, finding housing, or simply being respected in the community.
Some parents are stricter than others. Whether it’s religious beliefs or a controlling personality, parents can forbid their children to go to the movies with friends without parental supervision, or have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Others are strict out of an overabundance of fear that their kids might hurt themselves. Whatever the reason, being too strict can be emotionally and mentally damaging for a child. They may think that they are missing out on very important and enjoyable parts of growing up. When they move out and go off to college, it can be a chance to finally remove the shackles and have some fun that may have previously been forbidden. The more independent someone is from their parents, the more they will be able to do those taboo things without guilt or fear.
To Escape Expectations
Parents can be very demanding of their children in many ways. If a parent thinks that their child is going to be great at something, like a sport or performing arts, they may push too hard. The child might start to resent this, and resist by either quitting or not putting in the effort that the parent might expect. The weight of those expectations can be very hard on kids. Going off to school to study something that is not related to those expectations can be very liberating. Instead of constantly worrying about what their parents are thinking of their efforts or performance, they can instead focus on excelling in the classes and degree that they’ve chosen for themselves.
Going off to school is the time when a young adult can take control of their life. For many, this means being as independent as possible from their parents. They can decide what they want to do, where they want to live, and even what name to have. Having more independence means that they can remove themselves from the shadow of their parents and live life on their own terms.